What Women Want

Once upon an age ago, when I still had a proofreader to get feedback from, I asked her about a story I was working on. My friend - let's call her Susan - had read my stories and enjoyed them for years and offered me a lot of helpful feedback. So I asked her about an idea I'd had for a story set in a high school. The basic idea was an insensitive guy leaves a girl for a prettier, more popular young woman. She comes into possession of a device that lets her transform anyone in any way she wants. Pretty good setup for a TG story, right? I thought so too. I asked her to think about the situation and tell honestly what she thought she as a young woman that had graduated from high school not so many years before would do in that given situation.

Her answer surprised me. Actually, to be honest, she gave me several answers / scenarios. All of them left me confused and disappointed.

In one, she used the device to make herself better looking and joined the cheerleading squad to drive her ex mad with jealousy, so she could turn him down when he wanted her back. In another, she turned herself into a duplicate of the other girl so that the ex would have to choose between them based on personality instead of appearance. In another, she made all of the nice girls pretty and all of the mean girls ugly. Then there was the one where she turned herself into a copy of the girl so she could act out and get the girl her ex had chosen in trouble.

I think you get the idea. None of her ideas was in any way involved turning her ex into a girl.

When I asked her why, and this is the point, she said something that has stuck with me. I don't remember the actual words she used, but the idea she communicated to me was pretty potent. It boiled down to the idea that for the ex to pay, he still had to be her ex. If the girl in the story turned him into a girl, he would be too focused on his own predicament and not focused enough on her and how he had hurt her. She didn't want to change his body; she wanted to change his mind and mend his ways. Or put another way, the only revenge she wanted was emotional, and in her view a physical transformation could only get in the way of that.

Susan's feedback made me feel ashamed that I hadn't done a good enough job imagining the inner life of the women I was writing in my stories. What did they want? Why did they want it? Were the motives I gave to them realistic, or simply opportunistic attempts to move the story in the direction I wanted it to go?

While Susan's feedback hasn't stopped me from writing stories where the antagonist is a woman seeking revenge for ill treatment (The Birthday Girl is a great example of this), it has made me hyper-aware that the reasons a woman might transform someone are more complicated than a simple desire to make a guy "pay" for his bad behavior. In The Birthday Girl, for example, a transformation that first appears to be revenge for ill-treatment is revealed to be more about a desire to do whatever it takes to break a cycle of abuse. Punishment has very little to do with it. Preventing other women from being subjected to a cruel man's emotional abuse is the point. Katrina makes a huge personal sacrifice, giving up her very identity in exchange for one that is less than ideal, all so she can protect other women from a man she views as a menace. The man's transformation and potential redemption are secondary to Katrina. She doesn't transform him to punish him, or to save him; she transforms him to save herself and other women from him. If the way she goes about doing that seems like revenge, it's only because her goal is to force him to open his eyes and accept the reality that he is a woman and the world will see him and treat him that way. That's a story that I never would have told if it hadn't been for my proofreader's feedback.

All of which is prelude to my point. The story I'm currently working on - CJ, a Halloween story - is about a group of college students, most of which are female. While my own college experiences inform the story, Susan's feedback about her perceptions of motive have led to a story where the women relate to each other on an personal and emotional level, while the men in the story are focused so hard on the physical that they almost can't see the emotional impact of what they say and do. The main character, who is of course transformed, becomes torn between these two perspectives. That leads to an epiphany about how they see the world, and a choice about how that revelation informs their sense of self-identity. I owe that element of the story to Susan's perspective.

Damn, I miss having a proofreader.

Going Slow

New blog post! I know it's been a while, but it's been a lot less newsworthy year than last year. I'm sorry to the few fans I have for my silence.

So, what's up, you ask? Writing. The difference this year is that almost none of it is in service to one project. I've had bursts of creativity all year that lead to very productive outpourings of story content, but never on the same story, and never on any of the projects that I feel are the most important to complete. All of my ideas for more mainstream TG novels are percolating. The sequels to "Alien Body Suit: Under Her Skin" are still plotted and outlined but not started. (OK, maybe part of the first chapter of ABS:IM has been worked on, but that's it.) There's a story for a Topside Press collection that has a deadline of December 1st that is only half written.

What I have been working on are two 100+ page stories that are only getting warmed up. One starts off in a way that reads like standard TG transformation fiction but evolves into a family drama. The other has a similar hook at the beginning that's becoming an identity crisis for the main character. I've also worked on maybe a dozen other stories that are 20 - 50 pages long with a variety of themes and transformation methods.

It's very frustrating professionally to find myself wanting to play instead of doing the work that's needed to move my career forward. In terms of pages written, this might actually be my most productive year ever. In terms of projects completed, it's among my worst. The only real silver lining I can see is that if these longer works ever get put up on Amazon, the large page counts will mean more pages read and more revenue for me. I'm also hoping that a longer work at a reasonable price will result in more direct purchases. All of that will - I hope - put me closer to being financially independent as an author.

That's the real goal: to make enough per month to quit my day job. Once I'm my own boss, I'll have an extra forty hours a week to write. Writing at a rate of about a page an hour, that's about 160 pages a month. More if you figure in an extra five hours a week saved by eliminating my commute (20 extra pages a month) and that I'm likely to eat and write at the same time through my lunch (5 hours a week, 20 pages a month). That's a full length novel every three months figuring in editing and rewriting of drafts. Four novels a year. At shorter lengths, that would be two stories a month, or twenty-four stories a year. With those kinds of numbers, I might actually have a body of work I could be proud of before I'm ready to retire.

"Busted!"

Oh, Femur. I know that great minds think alike and all, but I'm sad to lose the title for one of my favorite story concepts.

Femur's "Busted" (no exclamation point) is a great Premium offering from TG Comics. Femur did the story and Gluebubble did the art. It has a great future-retro feel that makes for a fun read. While I wouldn't call the ending a "twist," it certainly was unexpected. All in all a great read and well worth the money to purchase access, in my opinion.

But ... that was MY title!!!  ;-)  I have had a story idea that's partially written for a number of years with this title. How long? I did a Fictionmania search before opening the file on my hard drive, amazed that no one had written a story with that title yet. Now there are two. The oldest of them is from 2003. That should give you an idea of how long some of my ideas take to bring to fruition.

If you think I'm going to just delete the story, don't despair. While I may have to rename this story, I like it too much to just throw it out. It will see the light of day eventually.

But do you see now why I'm so tight lipped about my story names?!? It's way too easy to lose a good idea to another author. It's not like you can own a name either. Sometimes the best way to keep something from being used by other people is to keep it secret. And the best way to keep a secret? Simple: DON'T TELL ANYONE.

Wanted: Writing Agent

I've got a few finished stories that I'm not sure what to do with at this point. I really wish I had a test reader that I could trust to give me feedback on my work. One of them for sure is bound for Fictionmania and TGStorytime. I've considered self-publishing a couple of them. Really kind of lost and frustrated.

All my writing lately is the literary equivalent of puttering in the garage. Things happen, progress is made, but nothing really gets done.

I need a like minded individual to bounce ideas off of. Like an agent. Someone that could say, "Hey, this story is really good. Don't give it away for free. This one's OK, but don't charge for it. And this one? Burn it; it's horrible."

The End Is In Sight

I have a tentative release date!!! That date is this Tuesday, 3/19/13. If everything goes as planned, I'll be able to reveal the full title of ABS:UHS, which will tell a lot about the nature of the story itself. Then I can also talk more openly about the planned sequels: ABS:IM and ABS:WLW. Obviously, the "ABS" part of those titles will be clear to all after Tuesday's release.

If anyone is following this blog, I have to confess that I'm very excited and hopeful for this project. I hope it leads to good things for both myself and my publisher. They are taking a very big risk on this project. I want it to succeed. If it does, I'm hoping that it opens up possibilities for other authors of TG fiction.

I'm A Big Tease

Finished my first first draft of a new story. Let's call it HG. As always, I hate sharing titles and synopsises before I publish. This one joins TPF as a story that's finished but not published. As for ABS:UHS, I really need to get busy with final revisions so the darn thing can get published.

Receeding Horizon

My publisher for ABS:UHS has given me feedback from three test readers. Those people know who they are, so I won't embarrass them by naming them here. The feedback has been very positive. In my opinion, even the negative feedback was because the reader was so invested in the characters, the outcome bummed them out. (I think the term "a real downer" was used.) The two others had really nice, wonderful things to say, so it looks like we're one step closer to publication.

Me? I'm past ready for it. I've been procrastinating on starting the sequels. Seeing ABS:UHS up online will, I think, give me the nudge I need so at least start writing the 2nd and 3rd parts. Scary to think that will put the story as a whole around 300 pages. (With illustrations, that might make it 600+ pages.) Wow. That's dangerously close to novel length. I'm running out of excuses to write an actual novel.

Speaking of procrastinating, I've been working on MCN. I'm past the transformation scene and into the guts of the story, which is all about dealing with the fallout for both of the main characters. Let's hope I can keep it up. Often, I find it difficult to write once I'm past that point. I lose interest and the story languishes half-formed on my hard drive.

In other procrastination news, I've finished another story that I haven't mentioned here yet. It's short and it's very sexual, so I may put it up on Fictionmania or TG Storytime soon. Still not sure on that one. Like the ABS series, this one has more than one part. They're short enough that I may put off releasing them until at least the next one is done. As always, I don't like spoilers, but I will say that this series deals a little bit with a Man Into Object theme, which is new for me. Fun, but new.

Well, at least the object is new. I did make my script for The Bra public over at the TG Comics forum.

Avocation

I'm at my day job (customer service for the local cable company) and wishing I was at home writing. I can't write at work. 1) My employer wants me to focus on the customers, which is as it should be. 2) If I break that rule and write anyway, it goes at something like a sentence or two an hour. 3) The end result suffers from being written in micro-chunks.

The story that I'm currently (trying) to work on  - let's call it MNC - is on the verge of becoming a much longer work. It started as a TG idea, but I had an idea to make it a more serious work. It will still have those TG elements, but it may become the launching point for the story, rather than the reason for its existence.

Coming Soon

One of my projects is about to be released soon: MM. I'll have more to say here as soon as it's up. That includes sharing what "MM" stands for. I'm really excited to share this illustrated story with the community and hope it's well received.

Pins and Needles

My computer - already sputtering along due to a past malware incursion - is now in critical condition. I took it in to try and recover my personal files, which have not been backed up for ages and ages. If that fails ... most of my stories are dead. I have some "in the cloud" (Lord how I hate that term) on Google Docs, but the majority of my partial works are on that hard drive.

I'm praying for a positive outcome.

A Brand New Bag

I just read Morpheus' latest story, "Inexplicable," over at Fictionmania. It took a little effort to get into, but was a great read once I did.

What struck me most about it is that unlike many TG authors, he doesn't lean on sex as a plot crutch. In TG, you can't ever really get away from the sex 100%, but the quality writers always seem to be more about the characters and the situations than they are about the X rated stuff.

Maybe I'm being naive, but I think that we might be on the cusp of a change in the genre. Up until now, there has been a lot of focus on sex. More and more, I see the best talents in TG writing either walking away from it as unsatisfying, or writing less for the audience and more to please themselves on a less base level. I think we might be approaching the same moment Science Fiction writing reached in the mid 20th century, where a Rubicon is crossed, leaving our pulp past behind us. On the other shore is a bright future where the craft of writing and the quality of the story are more important than the necessity of including erotic content.

I think the audience is both listening and ready.

What it DOES stand for.

Because I wasn't entirely thrilled with my finished result and because I wanted to help support Joe6Pack's www.tgstorytime.com, I have published "Framed," which you can now find in my links on the right. So, yeah, "F_D" does NOT stand for that other, nasty thing.

Shame on you for thinking that it did, you naughty, naughty reader.

Midnight Oil

Not last night but the night before, Tommyknockers, Tommyknockers .... ha ha. No. What I was really going to say was that I got home from Oswego Harborfest at one in the morning and ended up writing until 4:30AM. I was very, very tired after that.

On an upside, ABS - the acronym I'm using in place of my current project's title - is done. More precisely, the added chapter / section I wanted to write to flesh it out is done. I think the new section makes the ending seem less abrupt.

Now to decide what to do with it. Reluctant Press? TG Comics? Self-publish? I can't decide.

As much as I would like to support RP, they seem to be doing well without my help. Femur has big plans for TG Comics and I would like to support that. On the other hand, a straight story doesn't really fit in at TG Comics. As for self-publishing, I worry that I won't do well at all. I suppose the only way to find out for sure will be to try.

What am I up to?

Glad you asked! After being sidetracked earlier in the year by the possibility of having the tools to do video morphing, I've managed to set that aside and get back to writing.

I have two completed stories at this time that are unpublished. The original plan was to submit them to Reluctant Press, but I'm not convinced that they are as good as I originally thought.

One has a wickedly confusing plot with a lot of body swapping. The shifts in perspective, combined with who is in what body and why is that important makes for a real mess. I think that in the end that it's a good read, but I think it needs to be cleaned up before I'll be satisfied with it. I also would like to get away from magic as a plot device.

The other story is a sci-fi M2F romp. It has a few details that I would like to excise as they seem a little self-indulgent, but is otherwise ready to go. With luck and a little work, it should be submitted to RP in the very near future.

I'm also working on a new story, which also has a sci-fi M2F transition. Like so much of what I write, it may end up a half finished idea. I hope not. I have an outline, and that's always a good sign that the story has a better than average chance of being finished. Right now, I'm trying to make the all important post transition push. Keeping momentum after the change is always my biggest challenge.

Time to stop blogging and do some real writing. Wish me luck!

Ode to FictionMania

FictionMania is down. It has been down for months.

I trust that it will return at some point in the near future. Hopefully within the next five seconds or so. You see, until it was gone, I did not realize how important this icon of TG fiction was. Don't get me wrong, I knew it was huge. It was - and is, even in its absence - the 800 pound gorilla of TG fiction. Be sure to imagine the gorilla in a dress, of course.

I was already a big reader and a wannabe writer before I found the site back in the late 1990's. I turned to it for inspiration. I would read each story with an eye for its strengths and weaknesses, which helped me grow as a writer. Some stories infuriated me by mingling an intriguing concept with poor form. Some were exceptionally well writen, yet managed to bore me to tears. Other stories made me scratch my head, wondering why I liked them so much when they were so badly written. In each story, I found something that I could learn from, even if it was an example of what clearly didn't work. When I was especially lucky, an author would "wow" me with both concept and execution. Morpheus, for one, seems to have endless depths of creativity and talent on which to draw.

Yes, it will return. Sure, there are other sites with stories to view in the meantime. I know I should be writing my own fiction rather than weeping in my blog, but somehow, this glaring absence has left a hole in my sense of community.

Come back soon, dear friend.