40C?!? Say it isn't so!

I went shopping today and bought myself two new bras.

I've been wearing a 38C for a few years now, but lately I've been thinking I need to wear a different size to get a good fit. More specifically, the band size is too small. I mean, I fit into a 38 and it's OK, but it isn't a great look. My loose skin - not fat, mind you! - rolls over the top of the band and just is not nice to look at in the mirror. If muffin top is overflow at the waistband, you might call this cupcake top.

Anyway, I've wondered for a while how a 40B would fit me. I figured that if I went up a band size, I would need to go down a cup size to keep things fitting right up front. I didn't really approach such thoughts with a lot of enthusiasm. For one thing, a B cup just doesn't sound as awe inspiring as a C cup. Another thing is that over size 38, I just haven't been thrilled with the selection I've seen in stores. It's like size 40 = old and frumpy. I mean, really, who wants to wear a granny bra just because they have a large torso?

So today, I took the plunge. I bought two bras, as I mentioned. One is a nice red bra with lace trim that has a nylon sheath to keep it smooth and prevents it from looking odd under clothing. That once is a 38C, my current size. The other one I bought as an experiment; it's a size 40B.

The 38C fit about as I expected, but as I've noticed from time to time lately, I seem to be filling the cups really well. A little too well. And the 40B? It fit, sort of. I overfill the cups for sure. I have loose boob flesh that hangs out on either side, and unless I exhale deeply, I'm overflowing the cups at the top even more than I do in my 38C bras.

I'm thinking the next bra I buy will have to be a 40C, just to see if it will fit. I hate this fact. I feel fat and old. But at least I'll still be a C cup.

Some New Writing

I added a couple of new pages to the BE Archive today and yesterday. Why? Procrastination, of course. Why keep a New Year's Resolution to write one page a day for a year on a book project when I can make public domain content about boobs getting bigger?

New Year 2011

I have three finished stories in the hopper, but am still not set on getting them out. (ABS, F__D, MkMn) I'm also perilously close to having at least one more done (PF). Am I happy? No. Instead, I have started a new novel.

My New Year's resolution is to write a page a day on a new, more mainstream fiction project. Today is the 8th of January, and I've only written three pages, so I've got catching up to do.

As for my older projects, the new publisher that I'm working with is going to need illustrations for publication. Being short of money due to various personal disasters, That's not in the work just now.

I may never publish again. I like to write and read my stories. For me, that just may be enough.

CBlack Chest Morph

This is a morph for a image sequence in CBlack's "Boys of Summer." The story comic can be found at TGComics.com.

You would not believe how much I've forgotten about the necessary format conversion steps to make a video like this! Either that, or I've gotten a lot more picky about quality, making me dissatisfied with previous efforts. I actually rendered this as an image sequence and built the source file frame by frame in Adobe Premiere Elements, as it was the only way I could get the file quality I wanted.

What Have I Done?

I must be insane. I just submitted a picture book to an ageny that represents children's book authors. I am certain they will reject it, but I hit the send button anyway.

It should go without saying that the story doesn't have a transgender theme, but I'll say it just to be clear. IT DOESN'T HAVE A TRANSGENDER THEME.

Am I Getting Fired?

This blog is the closest thing I have to a secret diary. In that spirit, I need to confess that I am scared shitless that I will be fired from my job.

Recently, I got a voicemail from my sister asking me to contact a creditor of mine who has been harrasing her. She told them how to contact me, but they refused, insisting that harrasing her has been the only way they have been able to get me to contact them. I called them immediately from the break room at work. I was loud. I was angry. I swore. I even threatened bodily harm when the supervisor I spoke with got me upset. Getting nowhere with him, I hung up and finished my shift.

Later that night, I went home, called them back and managed to straighten things out with a manager that was both kind and very helpful. She made sure that I would be the only person contacted about my debt.

I thought that was the end of it. Instead, apparently there is a rumor at work about my being hard pressed for money. I have creditors hounding me for payment. I'm on the brink of financial ruin. All untrue, but that's the rumor. This rumor went from coworker to coworker's family to my father, then back to me. I had to do a lot of sharing to do to smooth things over with my parents.

Now I'm gripped by the fear that someone complained to Human Resources about my wrath and swearing, which will lead to my getting fired. Why? Because apparently, employees should never, ever, ever have to tolerate a "hostile" work environment. You simply can't show real, human emotion while at work without getting in trouble. If you let the facade crack, and someone complains, your job is at risk.

Irrational fear? Time will tell.

That Crazy Space

The whole self-publishing of ABS through Lulu is going smashingly ... as in I want to smash my computer to bits! (Extra points if you get the geek pun in that statement.)

Here's the glitch. Lulu is converting my Word documents as part of the publication process, so that part is fine. The problem is that the source document added a space at the top of each page at the beginning of the first line. This happened when I added page numbers, and can be easily fixed by removing the page numbers. Now, I am using an older version of Word (97, to be exact), but this is a real pain. Page numbers are kind of important.

So at some point this week, I will be downloading OpenOffice. Let's hope that lets me fix these annoying formatting issues so that I can focus on doing a final round of editing and purchase a proof copy!